Posted in Humor - General, Miscellaneous

Two more weeks

When I was about to receive the first one – my reaction was anything but friendly. I wouldn’t say that his incomprehensible shape or his indecipherable size or even the unassumingly deceiving skin color that made me stop for a second before I could decide how to react. I would say that the fact I was meeting him for the first time and that he was nothing like I had seen anywhere before, that triggered a strange feeling inside me. But what made the situation not so hostile were really all the stories I had heard about him and about those who were to follow him after I let him in first. It needs to be highlighted here, that I had heard about these stories only a few minutes before I decided to invite him and his team home.

The few minutes before my invitation went their way, the following had ensued as a result of my visit to this place. Although I don’t have such rendezvous too often, I do visit this place for my monthly fix. It is almost like an itch, a deprived feeling that looms over my mind whenever I don’t go here in a span of 30 days. Why 30 you may wonder? I ponder and ponder but from the memories of a distant yonder, I cannot find an exact significance for this number 30, except a possibility that it may have been an internal urge to discipline my mind and not let it wander… But I digress. What happened on this dreadful day was that I met this elderly lady standing behind a table sharing interesting stories about these men. When I went near her, she handed me a brochure and pointed me in the general direction where they lived and told me in an unthreatening way that I had to invite them home, lest I shall be doomed.

So with those memories flashing back in my mind, I peeked through the small opening. There they were. I wanted to experience their presence, as it was on my own will, that I had invited them. It would amount to a lie, if I don’t share those momentary urges that filled my system on that day, which possibly were instances of seduction since I first met them from the other side.  The most interesting part was that the clock almost seemed to have frozen in time, for those few days, between when I had my rendezvous to invite them home and the actual day when I got ready to receive them.

The stories I had heard all seemed to revolve around 2 main facts:

1)   They are dark skinned and hence are friendlier than their light skinned counterparts

2)   They prefer to work together in groups of 23 and when they do become your friends they will fight for you and even give their lives if needed

The initial angst slowly faded away and gave rise to excitement. Cautious excitement. An excitement that not necessarily sent chills of happiness down my nervous system but an excitement that also generated an extra dose of saliva.

The first one finally touched me. My fear was gone the moment he did. The excitement increased. My heart stopped beating faster for it knew it was safer & that it didn’t have to flutter any longer with the fear for the unknown. The initial touch was unexpectedly hard but it was also one such that redefined friendship hugs for the better. I say redefined because the hug was hard which made me feel safer and the touch was friendly which made me warmer at the same time.

Once I felt him, I was ready to crush him with my reciprocal hug. I have this unhygienic habit of smooching and smelling when I meet such people. Thus began the experience and in no time I let all 23 in. Only to realize that there were many more waiting at the other side of the opening. There are times in one’s life when the lines that clearly differentiate the good from the bad and those acts of grace from those acts of sin become blurry. In my calendar, it was one such day. I let more than 40 of them have their way in about 25 minutes.

Well later that night, as I headed to my bed blissfully reminiscing the evening’s encounter with those 40 men (40 till I counted) and the whole experience that lasted 40-45 minutes, I recollected all the tales that old lady behind the table shared with everyone who cared to listen to her, the other day.

I couldn’t help but acknowledge her wisdom for she clearly knew more than many about the benefits of Dark Chocolate Acai with Blueberry juice. And thanks to her, I knew that I have found a new bunch of friends filled with flavonoids to hang out with, who can give me the antioxidant boost. I smiled as I closed my eyes – The 2 lb. bag I bought from Costco was sealed for the night and it would last me two more weeks.