Posted in Humor - General, Music - General

In a blissful state of ‘Kolaveri’

By now, you could very well apply to get ostracized from India or from the Indian community (if you live outside India), if you have not heard of this term – “Kolaveri”.

Of course, if you are from Tamil Nadu, you definitely know the crass usage of this phrase. Although the phrase on its own has a rather gory connotation to it, if my growing up in Tamil Nadu is a good meter, then I would say that the phrase is as innocuous as the phrase “Damn” or “Bullshit”. So let me get that out of the way for all you purists.

Now, why is there a small minority of cocooned purists trying to rage against this viral phenomenon? I am not sure why. But it is easy to guess who they would be..Here are the 5 categories of people who I think will hate or in milder terms “dislike” a song like “Kolaveri Di”.

1) The “Ilayaraja-is-God-and-because-Rahman-has-won-Oscars-except-him-every-other-music-director-is-equal-to-Ilayaraja’s-Sandals’-dust” types

These are folks who were infatuated by Ilayaraja’s music of 70s and 80s. They just couldn’t / can’t and wouldn’t accept the fact that there can be other music directors who can even compose music to begin with. Took AR Rahman almost 15 years to get their nod (ok – you can compose but still you are a speck when compared to Ilayaraja).

2) The “Carnatic-music-is-the ultimate-form-of-music-and-every-other-genre-is-not-music-at-all” types

Needless to say, these folks can never accept anything else. It is not that, they have Carnatic music mastery either. They are the half-baked Carnatic music types who promptly bring out their hands and start tapping on their thighs to gesture an “Adi thalam” even when the song being played is a mildly complicated “Misra Rupam” or something.

3) The “I-am-too-posh-for-these-local-slangs-and-broken-english-pronounced-in-Tamil-accent-and-local-looking-people-in-general” types

Funnily, these people can’t write one page of English prose without grammatical and syntactical errors. And yet, they prefer speaking in English which only they and their family member can appreciate. They think anyone who is local should be “cheap”. They consider anything that is local (including culture & language) can be cheap too. Nothing can please them. They shake their heads in displeasure when they see or hear someone use a swear word in Tamil but would happily drool over a redneck American throwing an F word 5 times in a sentence.

4) The “Lyrics-should-be-poetic-doesn’t-matter-what-kind-of-song-it-is-else-it-isn’t-worth-a-listen” types

No need to expand the above.They listen to the words first before they judge a song. Again it is not that they have poetic sensibilities to analyze a good poem (forget about writing one)..

5) The “Humor-is-limited-in-my-life-and-I-am-very-discrete-when-it-comes-to-it-as-I-can’t-see-humor-especially-when-so-many-other-people-see-humor-in-it” types

They just can’t see humor. Period. They have template humor. Yes, humor (or jokes) of only certain kind can bring a smile in their faces. Forget about “Kolaveri Di” bringing anything in their faces except tears.

If you don’t belong to any of the above 5 categories and yet dislike this song – I know who you are. (I won’t reveal your identity here because categorizing you would sound offensive).

Anyways, no offense to all those who don’t like this song. After all, appreciating art is individualistic. Yet, when I saw a trend online to rage against what is now a worldwide phenomenon made me write this post.

On a related note, here is a collection of all the most popular versions of Kolaveri that have come out. I am sure there are dozens more that I haven’t seen yet.

The Original:

The Female version:

The Nigam version:

The Gujarati version:

The Marathi version:

The R&B version(my favorite of all the adapted versions):

[This is my favorite because it has truly been enhanced and there is some originality in the new version]

The Punjabi version:


Besides fantasizing about being a Peter Gibbons at least for a couple of days at my work, I think I have a long way to go to realize some of the other fantasies. But like any ambitious man out there, I will get there! Note: All views expressed in this blog are mine alone and have got nothing to do with my company Cogent IBS, Inc., its employees or any of its affiliates.

2 thoughts on “In a blissful state of ‘Kolaveri’

  1. Hmm I am die hard Raaja fan, usually put down many new comers music. By I really appreciate Kolaveri. Not very warm to the lyrics, but the music sounds straight from heart and spontaneous, just not an attempt to zap or impress the audience. Thats more like Raaja stuff. So no complaints, kudos to the team.

    1. Thanks for stopping by and for your comments..Of course, my intent of categorizing those people who don’t like the song is in lighter vein.

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